Christmas 2011

I know, I know...I am way behind on this post. Life has been busy, and I am loving every second of it! But I would be remiss if I didn't go back and post about Christmas and the time we spent with family.

We traveled to Florida to see Jeremy's mom and grandmother and had a wonderful week! I am so happy that we were able to travel down there and spend quality time with them.

But before we traveled to Florida, we spent time with my family, and then with Jeremy's dad and step-mom. Boy oh boy did we have some fun!

First, my mom's house...

Every year my mom hosts Christmas at her house the weekend before the actual holiday. There are 5 siblings in my family, and all of us are married or in serious relationships, and 4 of the 5 of us have children. So there are A LOT of schedules to work around. And typically, not all 5 of us can make it. But this year was special because my sister, Amy, the oldest, and her family made the trip from Kansas City. Amy is a nurse and has worked nights and weekends for the past I don't even know how many years. I am slightly obsessed with my sisters so I will take any opportunity that I can to see them.

Amy, myself, and Betsy

When Mom hosts Christmas (well, to be honest, when Mom hosts anything) she goes ALL OUT. I have never met a woman who can decorate a home, or cook, like my mother. No matter where she is living, you can walk into her house and immediately feel right at home. If it's cold outside, there is always a fire crackling. If it's warm outside, the windows are always open. I guess it's kind of hard to put into words, but Mom's house is always just...perfect.

I love watching all of our children play together, too. And being that Jacob is now almost two, and we're finally on what I like to call "the other side of good", he can run and jump and play with all of them, too. And I don't have to worry (most of the time) that he's going to fall down the stairs or stick his finger in a socket.

Only on Christmas do you get marshmallows for breakfast!

Cookies and ice cream with Austin

For as many years as I can remember, we have had homemade chili and spiral ham on Christmas Eve. So when Mom decided to move the celebration to the weekend before, we knew she wouldn't change a thing. We all come into her home on Saturday morning/afternoon, and the chili and ham are already well under way. And in true Zeller fashion, we graze quite a bit. There's always food on the counter...from cheese and crackers, to a veggie tray, to chili toppings galore. Yum, yum, yum.

And if you're really lucky, later that night, after all the littles have finally gone to bed, you and your brother in law, whom you've known since you were 3 years old (no joke), can peek into the fridge in the garage and find Mom's ONLY beer in the house :) Thankfully, Bob and my sister Amy had to make a run out for something and returned with some yummy wine!

That's right...one Natty Light in a box of O'Doul's - hilarious!

The boys had a wonderful time. Jacob feel head over heels in love with Uncle Bob, aka "the baby whisperer". I have never seen any man, heck any person, as good with babies as Bob is. Screaming, colicky baby? Give him to Bob. Baby won't nap? Give him to Bob. And seriously, they flock to the man. Jacob's not even two, there's no way he could remember Bob from the few times they've met. But you'd have thought they were long lost best friends.

Nana knocked it out of the park again this year as she made the boys blankets with their favorite characters. Superman for Luke, and Elmo for Jacob. Sadly (and I have no idea how because I am obsessed with it!) I don't have a pictures of the blankets like I thought I did. Alas, I'll have to sneak into their rooms and take one!

Nana, Megan, Hannah and Luke opening Luke's blanket.

Daddy and Jacob opening Jacob's blanket.

Another Christmas has come and gone, and more wonderful memories have been made. Just today, on a blistery cold Saturday in January, Luke said to me "Mommy, it's almost Christmas!" and I of course sighed longingly and said "No babe, it's definitely not almost Christmas."

And what came next after Christmas 2011 with Nana and crew? Christmas with Grandma and Pops! Stay tuned...

Perfect Strangers

I don't even really know where to begin with this post. I guess I am just in a very refreshed, thankful mood, being that it is a new year and all. And whenever I get into these moods, I get reflective. So here I go...

When we decided to move back to Indianapolis in 2007 when I was pregnant with Luke, I couldn't wait to get here. We were going to be closer to my family in Chicago, and Jeremy's family in Danville, and our friends...we were going to be closer to our friends! I envisioned cookouts, and double dates, and watching NFL football together on lazy Sunday afternoons while drinking beer and eating chili.

But here's the thing...when you move away for as long as we did (5 years) people obviously fill the gap that you left behind. It's not that our friends made new friends and replaced us, it was more that we'd all just become different people with different interests. When Jeremy and I left, we were engaged and in our mid twenties. When we moved back, we were 30 with a baby on the way. And all of a sudden those lazy Sundays were accompanied by watching NFL football while assembling nursery furniture.

I missed our friends in Charlotte. A LOT. And I asked Jeremy at least a thousand times in that first year why in the world we moved back. We had wonderful friends in Charlotte. The weather was gorgeous. We had great jobs. But I knew, deep down, we were always supposed to be here. We were both born and raised in the Midwest. You just cannot beat it in my opinion. There's nothing like raising a child with good old Midwestern values. But I still struggled.

I had Kelly...thank God. When you become a new mommy, you go through more changes than you ever thought possible. Physical, emotional, HORMONAL. Ugh... I needed the support of my family, and my husband, but I also needed a best friend. I needed someone that I could email/call/text at 3:00 in the morning, while feeding a baby, and crying out of pure frustration and exhaustion at the same time. And I needed someone to be going through it at the exact same time as I was. I can't begin to express how blessed I am that our first born children are only 3 weeks apart. Because if they weren't, who knows if we would have stayed on this same life schedule and learned all this together. And in turn, we're now inseparable.

But again, I still struggled. I remember emailing Kel about a year ago and I was a mess. I didn't have many girlfriends. I mean the kind of girlfriend that I call a "refrigerator friend". You know, the kind where you can walk straight into their home, and grab yourself a cup, and go to the fridge for a drink before you've even said hello. I realize that I am very lucky to even have a few of these women in my life. And I did...I had a few. But I have always been a person who enjoys a lot of close friendships. I'm outgoing, and energetic, and I feel as though I have a TON of love to share. And I love nothing more than sharing that love with my family and my friends.

So on and off throughout the next few months that same feeling of loneliness came in waves. And then one day Kel started asking me about running with a group of girls she had joined up with. We were all training for one race or another. So already we shared a pretty big passion. I've said it once and I'll say it a million more times...us runners are a weird breed. And we get that. We do something that non-runners will never understand. But that's why it is so important for us to have this community. This network of people who know exactly what we are going through.

Well the stars aligned one Saturday morning last summer and my schedule was going to allow me to meet up with these girls for a 20 mile run. Yep, that's a long one alright. The only problem? Kel was out of town. So here I was, headed to meet these ladies, at 6AM, in the middle of a dark McDonald's parking lot. Yikes. I may be outgoing and energetic...but what if they didn't like me?!

Thank God that wasn't the case.

I can honestly say that my life was changed forever after that first run with the girls on that hot August morning last summer. And yes, I know, to some that might sound odd. But trust me...these are my people. I'm not saying I've rejected any friend in my life who isn't one of my runner girls. In fact, I need to make a more conscious effort to spend time with those friends, too! But there is something so special about my running group, dubbed the Perfect Strangers. These are my girls. And I am so happy...like beyond words happy...to call them my close friends.

And they damn well better feel comfortable walking into my house, grabbing a cup, and heading straight to the fridge for a drink before even saying hello...even if it is 3:00 in the morning.

Just another mundane Saturday...

Ahhh...back to normal life. I love it! We had a wonderful time in Florida, but there is nothing like the feeling of waking up in your own bed, driving around in your own car, and cooking the food that is in your own fridge. Home sweet home.

I started my day off in the exact fashion in which I wanted to close out 2011...with my runner girls. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through marathon training without these women. They are complete sources of strength for me and we have created very special bonds in the last few months. You'll get to know a person pretty well when you spend 3+ hours running with them!

And while I ran, Daddy stayed home and hung with our little men. And when I got home? My living room looked like a tornado of toys had come through. And then it hit me...we opened Christmas presents on Sunday and then took off for the airport. So today was really the first day the boys were able to play with all of their new loot. Play on, little ones, play on...

Today has been a productive day, as the Christmas decorations are down, and life is beginning to return to normal. I am extremely type A when it comes to the decorations and I have to get them down as soon as Christmas is over. Typically I have everything put away on December 26th! I feel much better having things back in their normal places now. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing better to me than twinkling Christmas lights on a tree or mantle in a dimly lit room. But when the toys from said room have moved into your dining room, there comes a time when you're just ready to get everything back in its rightful place :)

Last year we rang in the New Year at Sagamore with some of our closest friends. This year we're ringing it in on our couch. Love it! We did go a little crazy after naps today and ran to get the boy's hair cut. I was literally still undecided about whether to cut Jacob's hair on the drive to the salon. I even took pictures in the car to keep record of those sweet little curls...

And, as the evidence suggests below, I totally caved and he got his first haircut. He's still just as darling as ever!

The kid will do anything for a sucker!

Can I get an AMEN on how much this boy resembles his Daddy?

2011 has been a wonderful year for us. And we look forward to a very blessed 2012. Happy New Year!

Sea World

When Jeremy and I made the decision to bring the boys to Florida after Christmas, we immediately began talking theme parks. I researched ticket prices online for what seemed like hours. These places are ridiculously expensive! But...we were only an hour(ish) away from America's playground in Orlando. How could we resist?

Jeremy was all in for Disney World. I was not. The boys need to be older in my opinion. He kept telling me about our friends who do Disney with kids the same ages as the boys. Good point. But not good enough to convince me. I dragged my feet. And then I showed him the ticket prices. Yep...it was a no go. Mama wins :) Those prices will be worth it...one day. When my babies are no longer babies. Okay, let's be honest, they'll always be babies to me. But I need Jacob to at least be able to speak in entire sentences before we venture there. After all, for that kind of money, I want them to remember the experience!

We settled on Sea World. Who doesn't love a nice, child friendly environment full of animals to ooohh and ahhh over? And Shamu! They have Shamu! Jacob ran around all morning while we got ready to leave, looking in every room of Grandma's house, hands in the air with shrugged shoulders, saying "Where Shamu go?" Dude...you haven't even seen him yet! Too. Stinking. Cute.

Oh, Shamu... You did NOT disappoint. I don't even know where to begin with these pictures.

The boys started out a bit apprehensive. I mean come on, these beasts are LARGE. But they soon warmed up to the whales and all the splashing. They clapped. They yelled. They waved. Hell, at one point I swear Jacob would have run down the aisle and jumped into the pool with our buddy, Shamu, had we let him.

21 month old swims with killer whale? I think not...

We continued on to the sea otters who, quite frankly, smelled horrendous. But they were so cute to watch! Lots of mama and baby sea otters in the man-made space built to replicate their natural habitat. A job well done, Sea World.

We made our way through aquariums, and shark tunnels, and a visit with the dolphins and the penguins.

And then we found the playground. I can honestly say that climbing my way through massive nets, on an incline, to get to multiple tunnels to crawl through to more nets was never really on my bucket list. But hey, I've done it now! Good thing I'm such a fan of crossing things off that list...

And then my little buddy, who I swear has become more brave than I thought possible in the last few days, wanted to ride a roller coaster. And when he looked at me with those big eyes, and darling dimples, and said "Mama, will you ride the roller coaster with me please?" I nearly melted. I was a roller coaster fanatic growing up. Loved every minute of them. But then in my mid twenties I tried riding one again and ended up with a horrible case of nausea for the remainder of the day. So I had sort of vowed to never ride one again. But that was before I had kids. And honestly, how can I say no when the world's sweetest 4 year old wants to experience his first roller coaster, a true rite of passage, with no one else but his mama?

We started him off slow...on a kiddie coaster :) But I have to say, this thing did move. It had speed, it had rotation, and it cleared some serious air. And he had an absolute blast.

We finished the day off with "A Very Sesame Christmas". Jacob was a mess. He'd barely napped, save for the hour(ish) he spent in G-Nan's lap, and he was melting. But then the lights dimmed, and out came Bert and Ernie. And then Big Bird. And Elmo ran through the audience and jumped on the stage. And the rest of the gang filed in...Cookie Monster, Abby Cadabby, Zoe. He was in complete awe. Homeboy didn't even know what hit him.

As we made our way out of the park tonight, I smiled to myself thinking about what a wonderful day we'd just had. Jeremy and I laughed so hard at things the boys were saying and doing. The boys had a blast. Their eyes so wide and their smiles so big.

My goodness gracious there is just nothing better than being a parent...

We made our final stop on the way out for a quick family photo op, and as soon as we were done I strapped the boys in the strollers, did a head count for my inlaws, and started out of the gates. And I realized I didn't have Jeremy. I scanned the crowd and found him just a few feet away. I didn't even stop to think what he was doing. I just yelled to him that we were moving, and we'd meet him outside the gates. I heard an "Okay!" and on we went.

A few minutes later I heard his voice, and I turned to tell him something, and then I saw it. I saw what was holding him up. And I fell a little bit more in love with my husband, walking toward me, arms full of three Shamu stuffed animals. One for Lukey, one for baby Jacob, and one for Ada Grace.

Amidst pure squeals of delight, and Jacob screaming "SHAMU! SHAMU!" I smiled lovingly at my husband.

"Babe, come on. You can't go to Sea World and leave without Shamu."

Today, my friends, was a good day. Today was a really good day...

Over the river and through the woods...

I am very behind on posts, and hope to sit down at some point and catch up. That may very well happen in 2014 when my children are a bit older and life isn't so busy. But for the time being, I thought it might be nice to post a few recent pictures that I've taken while we are in Florida visiting Grandma Mathews and G-Nan. The boys are having a wonderful time and we're all enjoying some much needed rest and relaxation. Soon our lives will be back to normal...school, work, race training, etc. But for right now, we are spending our time snuggling on the couch, and eating yummy cakes and pies, and playing in the fresh Florida sunshine...in December no less.

Yes. Please.

Grandma Mathews with her grandchildren. Luke, Jacob and Ada Grace.

Playing in Grandma's backyard.

G-Nan and sweet baby Jacob.

Lukey and one of his favorite cousins, Ada Grace.

G-Nan and her little buddy.

I cannot believe Luke did this! He's getting SO brave!

The first bungee type jumper in our family!

He was jumping so hard and going so high!

One of many trips to a local playground.

Sweet baby Jacob.

Thanksgiving 2011

I can't come up with a better way to start Thanksgiving than to go for a run (my all time favorite activity that I am SO thankful for) with my babies (who I am MOST thankful for!).

Thanks for the pic Aunt Kel!

I made it...

When I used to run to music I often times listened to a multitude of tunes. Rap, rock, pop...you name it, I listened to it. And there were a few particular songs that always put a little extra bounce in my step. One such song is titled "I Made It".

I look up to the sky,
And now the world is mine,
I've known it all my life,
I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about,
The life I'm living now,
I know that there's no doubt,
I made it, I made it!

This song could pull me up out of the darkest of thoughts during a run. Often times I found myself pumping my fists in the air to the beat of the song, just reminding myself that I was out there. I was doing it. I had made it.

Yesterday, I ran my second marathon. 26.2 miles. I can't really put the last 18 weeks into adequate words. There were a lot of runs. A LOT. And attempts at trying to juggle everything. And sometimes failing miserably. And there was family. And there were friends. Lots and lots of friends.

Kel and I are runners. We're also wives, and mothers, and full time career women, and board members, and volunteers. The list goes on. And if it weren't for all of the similarities between the two of us (including our looks!) I'm 100% certain that my life would not be as fulfilled as it is now. Anyone who is anyone in my life, from my family, to my other friends, to my co-workers, knows who Kelly is. So of course it was only natural that we would be running the same race. We have run every race together in 2011. It's a year for the record books, that's for sure.

And if it weren't for Kel, I wouldn't have met anyone in our running group, Perfect Strangers. These women are my net. We love eachother. We support eachother. We need eachother. These women are a large part of the reason that I continue to run.

Yesterday our bodies pulled off an amazing accomplishment. Just last week I told Kel that I didn't care if it took us 3 hours, or 13 hours, to finish the marathon. I don't care who you are...you can't just go out and run 26.2 miles without putting some serious training in first. We are strong women. WE ARE STRONG WOMEN. And we will continue to put one foot in front of the other, and pound that pavement, step by step...together...for as long as we can. Because it's what we do. It's who we are. We run because we can.

I vividly remember every bit of yesterday's race (which is an accomplishment in and of itself because typically I feel like I black out - ha!). The first 13 miles absolutely flew by. I was running with my girls. I had Kelly, our friend Meghan and my sweet sister, Betsy, with me. We saw friends. We saw Jeremy. We saw Kelly's friends who are so wonderful that they threw MY name on HER sign. These people care enough about me, while hardly even knowing me, because they love Kel, and they know we kind of go hand in hand. Especially with our running. There was a lot of "Go Kelly and Jaime!" I mean come on, it doesn't get much better than that...

Unfortunately, though, with all the pros of running, there also come some cons. Pain. There's a lot of pain. And anything...and I mean ANYTHING...can throw you off. Too much water. Not enough water. Too many carbs. Not enough carbs. I get that it seems like you can just lace up and run out the door, and typically you can. But not when the mother of all races is waiting for you. You have to prep. You have to hope. You have to pray.

I knew at mile 13 that Kel wasn't feeling well. She'd mentioned that her hips were hurting, and her calves were cramping. But girl kept on keepin' on... But I knew it was getting bad. I can read her like a book. I could tell. And my heart was breaking for her.

I continued to check on both her and Betsy. Conversation started to drop off, the winces of pain were there. This was getting hard. Just before mile 15, Betsy ran up to me and said "Jaim, we are not leaving her. You said you wouldn't leave her." And I turned and said "I know that, but I have to do something. Just let me go. I have to get to Mike. Stay with Kelly." I knew Kelly's husband was waiting at mile 15. And I wanted him to be ready.

As soon as I saw their group I beelined for him. "Mike, she's hurting. Something's wrong. She's upset. Please help. I don't know what to do." And he didn't say a word. He jumped around me, into the street, and bent down as fast as he could just as she arrived so he could massage her calves. I loved on her girls to keep them entertained. And I vaguely remember saying goodbye to our other friends as we started the run again.

Miles 15-19 are probably the haziest of the entire race. I do remember thinking that something had to happen. Something bad had to hit. I wasn't supposed to feel THIS good. And then I started to get scared. If I felt so good then, what would happen at 20? Would my body just give up? The last 6.2 miles scare the hell out of me.

I made sure I had my girls. They were still with me. They were within sight. Kel asked me to go on, to race my race. Betsy screamed out "NO!" and I told her that I cared WAY more about her and her wellbeing than I did about some stupid race time. I was with her, and we were going to finish.

And then the bad hit. My achilles didn't just start to whisper to me, it started screaming. Loudly. I had done a bit of stopping and re-starting, and I had clearly tweaked something. It came on like a freight train. I was fine one step, and debillitated the next. And I panicked.

Right at this point, I looked beside me and Betsy was there, but I couldn't find Kel. I knew she was behind us, but I didn't know how far. And then I saw our friend's husband, and he literally had a bottle of meds in his hand. "Jaime! Beth just passed. She told me to get the meds ready for Kel. Where is she?"

And I started to cry. I had come to a cross road. I was in pain. Excruciating pain. And the only thing, shockingly, that made the pain go away was to keep running at a pretty fast clip. I had my sister. But I didn't have my best friend. I literally felt my heart rip in two...

What was the right thing to do?

"Jeff, can you do me a favor? I'm in pain. I have to go. But will you please tell her I love her? And that I'm sorry?" Thank God for Jeff. He gave me a look that told me everything would be fine, and Betsy squeezed my hand and smiled, and told me how proud she was of me, and how proud she was to be my sister, and how she thanks God every day for me. And she told me that we were going to finish. And we were going to do it together. So I wiped my tears. And I ran...I never looked back. I never stopped.

I remember thinking at mile 21 that all of the pain was gone. And then it would creep back in just to remind me "nope, I'm still here. Keep running." I remember getting to 23 and seeing our friend Karie and thinking "holy shit! 23?! How in the world did that happen? I only have 3 miles left!" And then I heard my sister literally screaming behind me for Karie. "Karie! I love you! Oh my gosh you have your tutu on! Did I tell you that I love you?"

And I smiled, and I laughed...HARD. Leave it to Bets to not say a word for the last two miles and then pull that out when she saw Karie. But it helped me. I had pulled away from her, and it was all I needed to know that she was there. And she was okay.

At 23.5 I jumped to the curb and bent down to re-tie my shoe. The pain had shifted, and things were throbbing. I tried not to focus on them, but I couldn't help it. Something had to be done about that dang shoe! And just as I finished tying, I stood up, and had one foot off the curb, and I looked left... "Bets!"

She never stopped. She kept running. I jumped in. She glanced over. "Oh thank God! There you are! I need you. PLEASE finish this with me. Stay with me. I am so proud of us. I can't believe we are doing this. PLEASE finish with me." Of course I would finish with her! I could go on for hours about how much Betsy has overcome in the last two years. And I know how much running has had to do with her continuing to move forward. I was so proud to be with her. So proud to be a part of this. A part of her history in the making.

And then she pulled this out...

"Jaime, we are doing it! I am so happy, I am so proud! I am SO beating your first marathon time!" If I didn't love her so much I would have kicked some dirt up in her face and taken off :)

We saw my friend Meggie. We saw my friend Amy. I needed them both. Amazing women. Amazing friends. And then we saw my dad.

Oh my gosh. My dad. Our dad.

There he was, on the side of the street, waiting. And smiling. I practically barreled through him.
And with that, he was on the street. He was running. He was talking to us. He never once stopped talking. And it was absolutely, positively, what I needed. He was such a force of strength in that last .2. He pushed us through to the end. He told us how proud he was. He told us he loved us. He asked us how in the hell we were moving THAT quickly and leaving him in the dust when he hadn't run at all that day! I turned and told Betsy I was kicking it in, that the finish line was literally right around the corner. And I heard my dad..."Go Jaime! Go! Bring it home. You've got this! GO!" And I took off.

I rounded the corner and saw the finish line. I passed someone. I saw the crowd of fans. And then, without even thinking it, I threw my hands in the air. I curled them into fists. And I pumped them as hard as I could and bawled my eyes out as I came up to those final few steps completely alone...and the crowd literally went wild with cheers.

I look up to the sky,
And now the world is mine,
I've known it all my life,
I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about,
The life I'm living now,
I know that there's no doubt,
I made it, I made it!

4:36. Damn I'm proud...